Expressions from our Youngest

Expressions from our Youngest
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Monday, May 21, 2012

Make Life Meaningful Monday

ChangedByTheMaker.com

Today's post over at Michelle's "Make Life Meaningful Mondays" is about "Breaking Bad News" to your children.  Her post struck a cord with me and I thought I would share my memory of breaking bad news to our kids by linking up to her blog.  Just click on the link to participate.

I distinctly remember when my two college sons were around fourth and fifth grades, my sister-in-law suddenly revealed to the family that she was gay.  My husband and I knew our position on this issue.  Nevertheless, how should we present this to our children?  Or do we go on with life like nothing is changed?

Well, we decided, after much discussion, that our sons needed to know the beauty of a normal relationship before they knew the perversion of a homosexual relationship.  Therefore, we turned to one of Pope John Paul II's encyclicals about marriage and family and began to evangelize with the boys.  Of course, this was our opportunity to discuss the birds and the bees.

John Paul II was an amazing man and his words of wisdom helped us to lift the sacrament of marriage to reflect what the Author of Life designed it to be:  between a man and woman only!  This discussion went extremely well and both my husband and I were adamant about the beauty of a heterosexual relationship within a traditional marriage.

We let the boys digest this for about a week before we revealed the truth about their Aunt.  Unfortunately, we had to discontinue letting her babysit for us and limit her visits with the kids.  We also had two younger daughters to worry about too.

Unfortunately, homosexuality is a perversion of the relationship between two (or how ever many) people.  If our children became too attached to their Aunt, they would be devastated about her chosen life style.  In fact, a close relationship with her may have fostered an acceptance or approval of her behavior at such a young age.  This is what the public schools do.  Why were we homeschooling anyway?

My husband and I were hurt at first but knew that the main reason we had to draw the line - so to speak -was for our children.  Eventually, we eased into respecting each others opinions but agreed to disagree.  Our children needed to learn how to do this too by perceiving the situation with the eyes of faith.

I remember how torn apart my husband and I felt when she initially exposed her true intentions.  We felt bad for my mother-in-law because my sister-in-law was in a celebration-type of mood at the time while the rest of us were very worried and concerned.  Anyway, we've grown a lot since then and the children are very respectful when we see my sister-in-law but deep inside:  they know the truth!  And no - they are not homophobic.


5 comments:

  1. This is a wonderful post! I, too, have a family member who declared that she is gay. Would you be so kind as to let me know how you addressed the Pope's encyclical with children that age? We are going to need to do the same thing and I would like to learn from your experience. Thanks so much and God bless!

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    1. Yes - please be patient though because this was years ago now. I also have to see if I can find the encyclical in this mess. Give me a couple weeks as hubby is out of town and I'm very busy with outside commitments all of the sudden.

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    2. Hi Lisa, I couldn't find the specific encyclical but found something very resourceful and timely and free from CUF. Go to:

      http://www.cuf.org/audio/resources.asp

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  2. Maybe I should apologize for the fact that my post brought up a tough memory? I appreciate your sharing your story with me, and it is encouraging because you were able to work your way through it in a way that honored the Lord and taught your children the truth but also maintained your relationship with your sister-in-law. There are so many of these kinds of issues that create relationship barriers simply because of the influence it would have on our kids. Like you, we want them to be clear about what sin is and be able to recognize it when they see it. Teaching them to be compassionate at the same time is important too. Anyway, we are not entirely decided about our own issue, but we are listening to the Lord for wisdom. Thank you so much for linking up with Make Life Meaningful Monday! I hope to read more from you in the future!

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    1. No need to apologize - I loved your post. It brought bake much gratefulness for our past decisions.

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