Simple Woman's Daybook - April, May, and June 2017

I am participating in a Simple Woman's Daybook for April, May, and June 2017.

Outside my Window...it is presently a cool overcast day.  It is a great day to home-school.  I usually don't turn the fireplace on in April...but I did today for a little while.  I think we have global cooling in Maryland because it is June when I type this next sentence and it is still cooler than usual. 

Finally, today: June 13th, we are having some sunny hot weather. A wonderful home-school father and his sons are putting in a new back deck for us.  I might have to give them some popsicles later to cool them off.

I am Thinking...that I hope the Lord guides the progress of my children.  

Colin/26 - Receiving his Ph.D. in Engineering and this fall going to live with some Franciscan Monks in New York to help serve the homeless for a short period. He expressed that he does not want to become a priest nor has he given up on girls.  Therefore, we will see where the Holy Spirit leads him! 

Brandyn/25 - Living at home to finish up his Nursing Degree at the local community college. Also working part time at University of Maryland in Baltimore Hospital. 

Kristen/21 - Just transitioned from University of Maryland to Montgomery College to finish up her Nursing Degree.  She will be going on a mission trip this summer to Latin America and working as a lifeguard sub at the local pool.  

Claire/17 - Attending University of Nebraska in the fall to begin her degree program in early childhood education.  We are currently attending her high school graduation celebrations.  She is on swim team and life guarding at the local pool for her summer job.

Patrick/10 - Continuing to finish up 5th grade home-school lessons and participate in swim team and soccer.

I am Thankful...for the deacon at our local parish as he communicated with my brother who has colon cancer to see if the Church can assist him in any way while he is getting treatment. That was in April.  Now it is June and they should offer him Prayers of the Sick sacrament.  

I am also thankful that my fifth grader was able to speed up his completion of his fourth quarter home-school material. Now he is basically finishing up just reading and vocabulary.  He is working on a book report about Saint John Bosco by Catherine Beebe.  He said that he may choose this Saint for his Confirmation name. Right now he is outside at recess playing with a neighbor.

In the Kitchen...We had pork chops, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob.  That was in April.  In June, Brandyn helped me make up my own seasoning for the pork chops.  It turned out very good.  

Last night, June 12th, my hubby barbecued chicken and potatoes.  I love the way potatoes taste when they are barbecued. Although I didn't have dinner last night as my stomach did not feel so good. 

I am Wearing...Black sweats with a blue tee and grey and pink jacket.  Cozy clothes to snuggle indoors on this rainy day.  That was in April.  Now (in June) I'm wearing black jeans, short sleeved blouse, black sweater, and flip flops. Today, June 13th, I'm in shorts as it is very hot today.

I am Creating...a simple craft to have for my journal writing class and a yummy dessert for the end of the year celebration for our home-school coop. That was in April.  

In June, I am continuing to develop ideas for my journal writing class.

I am Looking Forward to...sunny and warm weather with the swim team starting up for our two youngest children and life guarding positions for my daughters.  The swim team pasta dinner is this Friday evening.  I am making Creamy Pesto-Chicken Casserole.

I am Hearing...three of my kids and the dog fooling around and playing in the background with hubby talking on the phone about college to my daughter at University of Maryland.  That was in April.  

Now it is June and I was the first one up today.  It is 8:00 a.m. and I hear a couple others beginning to rise. Today, June 13th, I hear the men and boys working on the deck.

Around the House...In April, we finally cleared out much of the clutter in our basement, got new walls and new floor with some book shelves too.  It looks much better.  We will be getting a new air conditioning and new deck in June.

I am Praying...for my brother who has colon cancer. I am also praying for my mother who is very worried.  I am also praying for myself that I do not have any setbacks or recurring issues with my illness as I have recently. I am currently receiving some treatment. I am also praying for my oldest son who is over in Sweden for his career.

One of My Favorite Things...was celebrating Easter with the family and taking a weekend trip to Ocean City, Maryland.  That was April.  Now in June we are busy with Claire's graduation celebrations.  Here is a pic to share:

A Few Plans for Next Week...finish my craft for my journal writing class and turn in religious education registration to Mother Seton Parish.

Here are some recent pics to share of one of the graduation events my family attended for my daughter:

Tools for Cultivating Your Child's Potential

I've really been enjoying everyone's posts on "Tools for Cultivating Your Child's Potential" by Zan Tyler.  I thought I would take this opportunity to jot down a few points I've gathered from Chapter Seven:  Providing Stimulating Academics.  Zan very cleverly ties the provision of stimulating academics into actual engaged time in the learning process.  It was pointed out that a typical day in any school consists of a very limited amount of time devoted for actual engagement.  (Our family has been blessed to find superb private high schools.)

Check out some of these teacher complaints:  http://www.rd.com/slideshows/slideshow-13-things-your-childs-teacher-wont-tell-you/?trkid=outbrain-all#slideshow=slide34

Engaged time comes in many forms.  Webster has various meanings for "engage" with these that may portray best those involved with education:  "1) to bind (as oneself) to do something; 2) to provide occupation for: involve; 3) to arrange to obtain the use or services of: hire; 4) to hold the attention of:  engross; 5) to induce to participate."  The older child achieves a more disciplined, independent, and controlled engagement with their environments while a younger child needs more verbal one-on-one engagement.  I have found that the more I've verbalized with my younger children...the more successful they become in their teen/adult years.  This is one reason I love to talk about stories with my younger children.  Sometimes I even wonder if it matters at all what books they have as long as mom is talking to them. (I know curriculum to fit your child is important too-just trying to stress the importance and priority of communicating to your child.)

Younger children are prone to incorporate into their own characters everything they see and hear.  It is a highly sensitive engagement with their world because they are at a developmental age where everything seems to influence them...acting like sponges that take in everything.  Images, mannerisms, values, statements, ideas, virtues, vices all easily seep into their porous minds and hearts.  They may even tone out important information being passed on to them if they are left to their own devices too much.  It is a mother who sees these ques and corrects them.  This is why it is so important to avoid prolonged awkward, active, and excessively busy engagement (with the wrong people) that can be detrimental to their development.  It appears that this may happen with kids in many schools.  (Keep t.v.'s and computers at a minimum).  I believe silence is golden for the learning process...the time when God speaks to our hearts.

It is the older child that masters the task of deciphering through extra 'business' and adhering to schedules independently to achieve a successful engagement with their world.  Young children have not fully developed the God-given inspired internal mechanisms that an older child has developed through the formation of their sound Christian foundations.  Younger children are more easily influenced by externals while older children have an internal capacity to independently withstand more pressure and take on more challenges.  Older children have the ability from their earlier preparations with mom to master more stringent academics and schedules.

Note the specific items referred to in this chapter that may involve personal presence and/or dialogue.  I made a list and added a few of my own:

1)  personal presence (by example vs. exhortation)
2)  close companionship
3)  gains in family life/unity (result of engagement)
4)  interaction (sibling and parental)
5)  dialogue/communication/language interaction
6)  emotional environment
7)  involvement and enjoyment
8)  good character/traits
9)  connect learning to life
10)  exterminate popular vices (fads)
11)  mentoring
12)  listening skills
13)  safety
14)  resources
15)  curriculum counseling
16)  extracurricular activities/athletic involvement
17)  outside interaction with friends/evangelizing
18)  preparation time/planning
19)  knowledge/love of child in context of family background enhances engagement
20)  employs tutorial method
21)  outside help/classes/field trips
22)  time
23)  dynamics (interactions and energy/earlier chapters)
24)  scholarship and constructive criticism (did not seem to be promoted)
25)  political involvement
26)  cleanliness/sanitary

One statement Zan made that I really wanted to highlight is:  "No one rivals the tenacity of a mother when it comes to caring for her children." (p. 155)

God has given virtuous mothers a remarkable capability to bring true wisdom, which is knowledge of the world in relation to God, to her children.  "The damage to the American family that is most resistant to remedy derives from the separation of parents and kids" (p. 158) for a prolonged period while they are still in an extremely needy stage of development.  Therefore, give your young children a love for learning.  Capture moments with them that are priceless to prepare them to engage their world with skill, tact, and finesse.  A large part of this comes from the balancing of our Christian principles to be applied to the various situations we encounter.

I would highly recommend this book to homeschool mothers.  It is exceptional.  If you would like to see what others are saying, visit the book discussion on Amanda Pelser's blog.

"Doctor in the House" by Michael Burgess

I just finished reading Michael Burgess' book "Doctor in the House" where it shows how dangerous it is to permit Democrats to take control of Congress and the presidency with a majority because they are unprofessional and unethical in their business ventures.  There were good proposals and alternatives to Obamacare put forth by Republicans that were ignored, turned down, and lied about to the American people.  I just can't imagine working with people like this because it can cause great suffering and even depression.  Michael Burgess is a Republican in Texas that used to be a doctor.  Here are some of his suggestions that were put forth:

1)  Insurance Reform:  In the spring of 2009 Nathan Deal and Michael Burgess introduced HR4019 and HR4020 to the 111th Congress.

-  HR4019: Limiting Pre-Existing Condition Exclusions in all Health Insurance Markets

-  HR4020: Guaranteed Access to Health Insurance Act

2)  Tax Fairness:  HR3218 was Improving Health Care for All Americans Act authored by Congressman John Shadegg of Arizona and consisted of:

(a)  Refundable tax credits for medical costs

(b)  Expansion of access to health insurance coverage through individual membership associations

(c)  Incentivizing creation of high risk pools

3)  Medical Liability Reform:  Mr. Burgess communicated with Obama on several occasions before the passage of the health care reform bill regarding the success of Texas' capping of noneconomic damages

Idaho, for example, established a pre-trial hearing panel to review pending lawsuits which saves tax payers money and lowers liability insurance premiums.  So there are success stories that are ignored.

4)  Portability - 2005:  HR2355 - Health Care Choice Act (re-introduced twice)  which involves the ability to shop for health insurance plans across state lines.

5)  Medicare Payment Reform:  HR3693 - Future Physician Workforce Act (doc-fix legislation) tackled and solved the Medicare reimbursement issue which is a huge liability to all involved.  Obama's plan just feeds into this problem making it worse.

6)  Create Products People Want:  There is no stampede of people rushing to buy the government's HHS attempted monopoly of an insurance policy which builds a national risk pool (copied from Republican idea) around participants.  Mandates have no place in a free society.  There are some brilliant minds in the insurance industry.  Why would one attempt to shut the ideas of others out?  This is also where health savings accounts can apply too.

7)  Price Transparency:  The Healthcare Price Transparency Promotion Act directed states to establish and maintain laws requiring disclosure of information on hospital charges.  Also, hospitals and health plans had to make information available to the public.  Better informed and more empowered citizens make good choices.

8)  Preventive Care and Wellness Programs:  Under Obama's PPACA the cost curve has been bent upward rather than downward (the opposite of what O previously claimed).  Why can't insurance companies be released from restrictive regulations and be allowed to reward healthy life style choices?

9)  Doctors to Care for Americas Patients:  Michael Burgess repeatedly introduced Physician Workforce Enhancement Act.

Shepherding a Child's Heart

I know it is a bit late but I wanted to post a little something about Chapter 14:  Infancy to Childhood:  Training Objectives and Chapter 15:  Infancy to Childhood:  Training Procedures in Amanda Pelser's book club for Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp.  At the end of each chapter, there is a list of Application Questions  for parents that really make you analyze your dedication to Christian parenting.  I highly suggest you read this book so that you can answer these questions to help you analyze one's devotion to Christian parenting.

To begin, Mr. Tripp mentions Ephesians 6:1-3 and has a superb illustration referring to this verse you can show your children in order to remain in God's protective "Circle of Blessing."  Honoring and obeying parents is a major part of remaining in this "Circle of Blessing" which means submitting to parental authority.  There were numerous times that 'submission' and 'spanking' were mentioned in these chapters.  While submission by discipline and/or punishment can be effective at times, submission is also directly linked to the virtue of humility which was not mentioned in these chapters.  God's Word and the sacraments can also play a vital role in teaching children to be humble [1) not proud or haughty: not arrogant or assertive  2) reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission.]  In fact, through out the entire Gospel, Jesus is constantly pointing to the grave attitudes of the proud and haughty Pharisees.  Humility is the exact opposite of this arrogance.  Children are smart and can learn this.

Therefore, we can reflect, express, and offer the humility God's grace bestows on our hearts when we pursue the Lord through scripture, sacramental blessings, Church tradition, and/or chosen community leaders.  We come to live out a desire  to gain favor of our God and parents by not only learning submission to authority through 'taking a set back' after we've disobeyed, but can also actually fall so in love with the Lord's  wisdom and holiness through scripture and sacramental blessings that we desire to make the Lord's efforts our own efforts.  This helps us to strive to 'move forward' and limits the times we 'fall back' to live as Christian disciples.  So be aware that God-given humility fosters submission in our children too.

Shepherding a Child's Heart is a great read and I do not want to bore you with little details about our specific strengths and weaknesses as parents.  I basically wanted to praise the efforts of Tedd Tripp and also point out that a child who leaves the "Circle of Blessing" does not always have to have the rod applied for disciplining.  I guess it depends on the circumstances, age, and temperament of the child.

Shepherding a Child's Heart

I'm participating in Amanda Pelser's book club for Tedd Tripp's book called "Shepherding a Child's Heart."  Today I will discuss Chapter 12:  Embracing Biblical Methods - Appeal to Conscience and Chapter 13:  Shepherding the Heart - Summarized.

Most all people (except some with serious handicaps) have a conscience or "the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good." (Webster)  I ask you, what is right and what is good?  Who is going to set the standard for your family?  God is the Author of life and He is the one who instructs us on all that is right and good.  This is why it is so so so beneficial to expose our children to our Christian faith backed by God's Word.

When our children are trained in the Lord's ways under the grace of the Holy Spirit, they are attracted to what is true and beautiful and take offense to ways that violate God's Word.  This will stir them to act virtuously.

Our words and our ways are not the organ of discipline.  We need the Lord's direction and protection.  Children will not hear a parent who spouts off words in anger when they disobey, backed by more words, backed by more words.  The rod may be applied to a child only (Proverbs 23: 13-14) if necessary.  Nevertheless, it is the Love from the Lord that will direct our children toward virtuous Christian living and eternal life in heaven.

In fact, our conscience is deeply tied to our purpose in life, which is:  to know, to love, and to serve the Lord.  Our conduct, intentions, and characters will more naturally fulfill this life-giving purpose when we are trained in the ways of the Lord.

Conscience is also a "sensitive regard to fairness or justice." (Webster)  Parents do not want to only appeal to this part of their child's consciousness.  I've witnessed some children in classroom situations where they are overly concerned with what is fair.  They often end up complaining too much because they compare themselves against others or one group against another group.  The virtues received from instruction in the Lord's ways has a way of lifting us out of this selfish tendency to think everyone has to be the same or there is something 'unfair.'  We begin to appreciate the differences in each other.  It is good to be fair but not overly obsessed with it.  You can see that even some adults today have never outgrown this perception in life (cough cough).

The Lord knows we are sinners and so must we... then we will have an awareness that all need his guidance.  Therefore, we need to compare ourselves (and others) to the standards of the Lord so that we stop comparing eachother and start loving our neighbors like good disciples.  The Lord's children are happy with what they have and humble in their relationships.

Occasionally, parents will have to "work back from behavior to the heart" to "expose heart struggles." (p. 126) These struggles should focus on an attempt to strengthen our relationship with the Lord.  Once this relationship is firmly established, our children will "know the true nature of reality" (p. 126) and be well on their way to "knowing themselves" (p. 126) as members of God's loving family.

Shepherding a Child's Heart

I'm really enjoying Tedd Tripp's book called Shepherding a Child's Heart for Amanda Pelser's book club.  Last week we had the opportunity to post our thoughts on Chapter 10:  Embracing Biblical Methods-A Life of Communication and Chapter 11:  Embracing Biblical Methods-The Rod.  Just click on the link to participate.  I would like to share my thoughts on these chapters with you.

Tedd Tripp points out that parents who frequently incorporate sacred scripture and use "careful, timely, measured, and controlled" discipline are on their way to ensure their children know the greatest love story ever told.  In turn, this fosters the construction of their childrens' own love stories which reflects a Christian witness in life.  Some ways the Lord's loving story of redemption can be written onto the hearts of our children are through parental involvement in:

1) hearing and acting on God's Word;

2) utilizing the "rod of discipline to drive folly out of the hearts of our children" (p. 105 and Prov. 22:15) which fosters:
          -  witnessing of the "parental exercise" (p. 108) in God-given authority which
              honors and strengthens the parent-child relationship,
          -  portrays a serious "act of faith" (p. 109) to emulate,
          -  shows an "act of faithfulness (commitment) toward the children" which strengthens trust, (p. 109)
          -  shows a parent's determination to "act as God's representative" which fosters purpose-driven
              lives under God's authority, (p. 109)
          -  requires application of discretion used to administer the "proper measure of punishment," (p. 110)
          -  and "rescues" (p.110) children from becoming 'lost sheep' or loosing their souls - yes...parents are
              like little saviors.

3) We need to remember that communication and the rod are part of the picture.  There are other avenues available to parents too.  For example, participation in Church events can provide the family with wholesome service opportunities, relationships, activities, and sacramental blessings within their Christian community of believers.  This too creates memorable heart-felt desire for descipleship.  For the purposes of the book club though, we are focused on these two chapters for now.

Tedd Tripp has a marvelous approach to elevating our marital responsibilities to their designed order by applying biblical wisdom to the process of parenting.  Committed parents "model the dynamics of the Christian life" (p. 95) and so must their children.  The children are to become active participants in God's ways and must be included into the Christian unity of the family.   I've witnessed the stress one wayward child can cause to the entire family.  Believe me...it is not pretty!  This is why it is so critical to "shepherd the hearts" of our children in order to let the love of Christ be the 'nucleus' or 'powerhouse' in  family life.  This takes tremendous time, patience, sacrifice, commitment, dedication, discipleship, and...you name it!

Oftentimes, parents have to be willing to "drop everything else" (p. 94) to devote "time" (p. 94) and offer "flexibility" (p. 94) in their schedules in order to capitalize on a teachable moment...especially while their children are very young.  This is one of the reasons we've chosen to homeschool our children during their early years.  It has given us real leadership and freedom in how we manage the time and members of our family.  Even "the physical and spiritual energy" (p. 95) required for in-depth communication is enhanced through homeschooling with more time available to rest and pray.  Or would you rather be frantically driving all over town to meet someone else's schedule?  This is especially detrimental to very young children and their need for smooth transitions.

Parents who "encourage the faith" (p. 94) in their children will expose them to true wisdom which is knowledge in relationship to God.  It is only through true wisdom that an objective perception of reality is encountered in one's vision for life.  When the Lord is placed at the very center of family life, faith can ignite a fire of loving communication in every word, thought, and deed which elevates our desires to be 'one' in union with Christ without which our days are meaningless.  Our children desire to live out this 'dance of love' even when they leave the safety of our homes.  This is the whole meaning of the redemptive love of Christ and the power of the Holy Cross which helps the faithful fulfill their purpose in life in knowing, loving, and serving the Lord.  This life-giving purpose sets us on a path to our redemption and restores our friendship with God through his mercy and forgiveness.  Parents are the life-giving and unreplaceable instruments in the hands of God to teach these faith-centered realities to their children.

With the Lord's centrality to family life in mind, our parental authority reflects the love of Our Heavenly Father and has a great influence on our children.  God intentionally designed family relationships for parents to have the most "authority" (p. 97) over their youngest children when their minds are the most impressionable.  This is critical to be aware of because our children are not born "ethically and morally neutral" (p. 105), but we are all born with original "sin" on our souls. Most everyone has witnessed a toddler who says, "mine, mine" or "I want, I want" too much.  Our children should learn that living under God's loving authority by obeying their parents helps to eliminate the "foolishness of hearts" (p. 106) when one is "driven by their own 'selfish' wants and desires." (p. 106)  Selfishness leads to the downfall of many and parents are "mandated by God" (p. 110) to replace this attitude with love of neighbor into the hearts of their children.

I can remember when my older son was an infant and my father was watching me take care of him for a few minutes.  He said, "babies are takers.  This is all they know how to do yet."  He was witnessing how I continually had to give the baby all my time to feed, dress, and entertain him.  When the baby was unhappy, it was usually because he wanted something that needed my time and assistance.  Oftentimes, calming a cranky toddler may require discipline "employed as a God-given remedy" (p. 107) from a "faithful parent." No one else has this grace-filled ability from the Lord...not even a teacher.  "Rebellion" in the heart of a child, if "left unchallenged" (p. 107) can become a dangerous obstacle on their path to salvation in the Lord.

I can remember moments where I would have to try and properly balance serious communication while reading bible verses with moments of discipline to instill in my children a proper respect and attitude for the Word of God.  My children quickly learned that they could not fool around or giggle while we spoke about our faith or read from the bible.  In fact I'm going through the same process again with my five year old while I'm teaching his co-op class.  Gentle reminders pop up to help the children to remember to sit still and focus on prayers and lessons about the faith.

When we hear the voice of the Lord during our most impressionable and formidable years, we develop a stronger allegance to recognizing and following this voice of the 'Good Shepherd'...even into our adult years.  Adult choices will more naturally reflect the love of God.  We have been given a firm foundation from Christian parents to enhance our focus and recognition on the ways of the Lord from our earliest and most impressionable years.  Our first love has created unshakable memories and becomes a powerful adherance to life-long commitments in discipleship.  Therefore, we end up loving the Lord who melts away the selfish wants and desires of childhood and prepares us with a Christian vision to put the needs of others first.  Families who work to know, love, and serve the Lord will acquire the beauty and virtue to want and desire God's loving will (vs. their own will) for themselves and for all of humanity.

These families are more apt to have children who willingly agree to their parental influence through the years which directs them to enter full-fledged mature Christian discipleship.  This requires a commitment to live according to God's will to the best of their abilities. Parents can be instrumental in developing these abilities along side the Lord by living and communicating a way of life that mirrors authentic Christianity.  Children learn to trust parents because they've invested their lives around putting the needs of their children before their own.  This portrays the highest level of communicating an unforgettable and desirable language of love in family life.  Words to communicate are powerful and so are silent, humble, compassionate actions.  Therefore, families should frequently make time for prayer and Christian-oriented communication through action, instruction, and discipline to direct family members toward discipleship.

Tedd Tripp explains these same concepts in "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and I highly recommend this book to all parents.  He gives very constructive information and refers to biblical passages often to assist parents in gaining the confidence to fulfill their parental responsibilities.

Shepherding a Child's Heart

Amenda Pelser's book club on Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp has an opportunity this week to analyze Chapter 8:  Embracing Biblical Methods - Communication and Chapter 9:  Embracing Biblical Methods - Types of Communication.  These chapters really spoke to my heart because communication with the young has been stressed in my own homeschooling methodology.  Just click on the link to participate.

I would like to start out with this quote:  "When children are little, we often fail to engage them in significant conversation.  When they try to engage us, we respond with uninterested uh-huh's.  Eventually, they learn the ropes.  They realize that we are not interested in what goes on in them.  They learn that a 'good talk' for us is a 'good listen' for them." (p. 76)  Children are some of the smartest people in the world when they are listened to and instructed with loving care.  Sometimes I would much rather talk to beautiful children rather than stuffy adults.  Parents need to find ways of engaging them in the truth about life of which God is the Author.

Our children do learn from hearing God's wisdom, as the priority, and also hearing our wisdom when we are committed to following the Faith.  Furthermore, our children have to learn to apply this wisdom to their own lives and to the world they observe around them.  This is why my approach to journal writing for the very young has been so effective for my children (http://www.nucleusoflife.com/).  The children learn to express and act on the abundance of their hearts through the use of stories and biblical realities, oftentimes, before any bad behavior occurs and correction needs to take place.  Therefore, Nucleus of Life (NOL) is preventive because it avoids just turning to God's assistance as a reaction to behavior but rather equips children with internal wisdom of the heart to discern the appropriate behavior in various situations by providing them conceptual experience from an engaging story to apply to God's Word.  One of the reasons many children may find it a challenge to write or communicate is their lack of knowledge or experience in which they can retrieve information.  Why not incorporate good stories into lessons to foster conceptual information from which they can draw on to communicate...both in writing and verbally?

To begin, Mr. Tripp says, "You need to look at the world through his or her eyes." (p. 79)  What better way to engage your very young child to life events through good stories in picture books?  In fact, this is one of the methods used by the greatest Teacher Himself...the use of parables.  Sometimes it is very challenging for the young to grasp just text on a page from a book.  There are many great picture books to get them started in understanding concepts and fostering communication skills through dialogue about stories.  In fact, there is no telling where your dialogue will take you when God's Wisdom is applied to lessons.  It can open up the greatest of discoveries in life.

For example, I just read "Clever Jack takes the Cake" by Candice Fleming to my five year old. 

After the story, I asked him..."What would you tell a friend if he asked you 'what this story was about?'"  While I was asking him, I turned to the page with the written invitation from the king on it and asked, "Who wrote this invitation?"  (He knew what an invitation was)

He said, "the king" wrote it. 

Then I asked, "Who received it?"  He said, "He invited the poor boy to the party."  (We've been doing this for two years now.) 

Then I asked him, "Was the king rich or poor?"  He said, the king was "rich."  I said, "O.K. - there's your sentence." 

He said, "The rich king invited the poor boy to the party."  I wrote it down on an index card to remember it for the following day when he writes it in his journal.

The next step was to open the bible to Luke 14:12-24 to introduce the parable about the master inviting the poor to his banquet.  This fostered our dialogue to focus on the right way to treat the poor and the true intentions to have when we serve others because scripture provides the appropriate heart-induced instruction for behavior.  Dialogue opens up to biblical realities which expands one's thoughts to focus on what is beautiful and good. 

The following day he went to write his sentence without any help or assistance from me at all.  He even retrieved it from his own memory.  This is awesome to see at five years old.  Anyone can do this.  At this age, kids are smarter than we think and just soke up knowlege when it is presented in a friendly way.  Sometimes, we turn to God's Word before he composes a sentence if he is having trouble expressing his thought.  This gives him valuable information too that enhances his rhetorical skills.

If I just read the parable to him at this age, he would not have been able to focus effectively enough on its true meaning.  The story book added an attractive concept to his understanding of the parable and greatly pre-exposed him to good information in an enjoyable way.  Also, the tasks of reading, drawing, coloring and writing about the story and parable enables him to think about the lesson for a longer period of time.  Every mother knows the challenge it is with the short attention spans of their young ones.  During this longer period, he is internally 'soaking up' the lesson.  Yes, like a sponge.

Mr. Tripp also mentions other areas "to help your child understand himself:"

1)  Developing "skills" (p. 79) - In drawing/coloring, writing and verbal with NOL

2)  "Help children to express themselves" (p. 79) - In drawing/coloring, writing, and verbal with NOL

3)  "Facilitate conversation" (p. 79) - with the use of a biblical concept as a conclusion or final word

4)  "Comprehend behavior and words" (p. 79) - through use and development of visual, auditory, and motor skills with NOL which extends dialogue about the lesson and commits it to memory more effectively for the very young

5)  "Discern matters of the heart" (p. 79) - nothing like that 'two-edged sword' as God's word brings true wisdom to the dialogue.

You can see how this method is very effective in not only "drawing out" (p. 79 and Prov. 20:5) matters of the heart but infusing into the heart some biblical wisdom that has a higher probability of being committed to memory or 'written on the heart' because a good story is harder to forget and adds to the dialogue.

Chapter 9 refers to types of communication which involve more than the typical rules, correction, and discipline.  "Richer communication" (p. 84) involves Encouragement, Correction, Rebuke, Entreaty, Instruction, Warning, Teaching, and Praying.  I wish I could write about all of them.  I've chosen to explain 'to Rebuke' because it censures inappropriate behavior as Mr. Tripp refers to Proverbs earlier which "weds extensive communication and the rod." (p. 74) 

Mr. Tripp states that it was necessary to teach his "children that there are some necessary limits on free speech."  I wouldn't teach it this way to my children because the Lord never 'limits' but expands, sheds light, and brings freedom.  Therefore, I would call it..."Avoiding hurtful language."  I also, like Mr. Tripp, teach my children never to "tell people we hate them."  At a first offense with this word used toward an individual, one needs to be adamant and rebuke by saying, "it is wrong and you don't want to hear speech like that again." Add to this some good instruction or biblical reference to possibly replace it with something kinder.  For example, say "I don't understand them"  because the Golden Rule applies here:  "What happened to treating others the way you would want to be treated?"  Would you want others to hate you?

This can be turned into a teaching moment, especially if it is a first offense.  Use the concordance or internet with a dictionary for the underlined words and reveal:

Proverbs 4:24 "Put away from you dishonest (intending to mislead) talk, deceitful (misleading others) speech put far from you." 

Sirach 23:15 says, "A man who has the habit of abusive (extremely offensive or insulting) language will never mature in character as long as he lives." 

Sirach 23:13 says, "Let not your mouth become used to coarse (rough) talk, for in it lies sinful matter." 

You can even refer to the Eighth Commandment:  "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor" because using such a harsh word can give others a bad or faulty perception of one's character.  This could be like gossipping.  The word 'hate'  has nothing to do with proper justice for a wrong committed because we are called to even "love our enemies."  Hate is the opposite of love when it is in relation to human beings made in the image of God.  Therefore, it is the opposite of God who is all Love.  This is why it is so effective to call something 'hate speech.'  See how God's Word expands one's mind to limitless possibilities...true freedom.  There are tons of verses on speech.

To conclude, Shepherding a Child's Heart is a great read and really helps parents analyze their skills.  I am really enjoying it.  I wish I could add more to this post, but this has taken long enough already.  I've enjoyed sharing my thoughts with you and hope you have gained something from my post.

Shepherding a Child's Heart

I thought I would take this opportunity to discuss the next two chapters in Tedd Tripp's book called Shepherding a Child's Heart.  We are currently on Chapter 6:  Reworking Your Goals and Chapter 7:  Discarding Unbiblical Methods.  In chapter 5 we discussed what Mr. Tripp calls 'unbiblical goals' when we involve our children in:  Developing Special Skills, Psychological Adjustment, Saved Children, Family Worship, Well-Behaved Children, and Good Education without the awareness of biblical values and of our chief purpose in life to know, love, and serve the Lord.  These activities can not achieve success on their own.  Children should be instructed to percieve and participate in them within the light of biblically held principles and faith-related realities that address their hearts.

Therefore, chapter 6 assists us in valuable insight into "rethinking unbiblical goals" (p. 51) in order to enhance the lives of our children which enables them to fulfill their true purpose in life to "to glorify God and enjoy him forever." (p. 47)  I would love to post every one of my rethinking of these goals but, for the sake of time and space, I will pick one to work with as an example.  Tedd Tripp's book is so good that it helps the parent really analyze the goals they have set for their children and direct the hearts of their children toward Godly realities.  I think I can write a whole other book just on my family.  In any event, I've chosen to talk about reworking the goal of Developing Special Skills from Chapter 6.

Learning involves knowledge or skill acquired by instruction or study, or even modification of a behavioral tendency by experience (as exposure to conditionings).  This is one of the benefits of homeschooling because repeated exposure in reading scripture and participating in parish activities helps give children valuable knowledge which assists them in their involvement with any goal, activity, or event.  For example, when a child learns a special skill for a sporting activity, do not let just the sport influence their hearts.  Parents should help them develop the dire awareness that "strength and stamina" can greatly assist "them in a life of service to God." (p. 52)  Good health can help us meet the needs of those we serve to build up the Kingdom of God.  Therefore, if a goal for your child is to learn a sport, teach them "a biblical worldview to exercise and care for their bodies as an expression of stewardship for God's gifts." (p. 52)  They will surely be more motivated to work hard perfecting their sport and showing teamanship with the Lord at the helm of this activity.  I can't wait to analyze (or rework) my other goals with the help of this book to ensure a healthy Christian development and unity for my family.

Now Chapter 7 helps parents discard unbiblical methods and refers to the many negative influencers children can encounter in life, including:  parental attitude of "I Didn't Turn Out So Bad, Pop Psychology, some Behavior Modification techniques, some Emotionalism, some Punitive Correction, and Erratic Eclecticism.  For the purpose of time and space, I've chosen to discuss Behavior Modification.

"Some pop-psychology methods apply behavior modification" which involves rewarding your children when they perform well or do something good even when "they are fulfilling normal responsibilities." (p. 63)  Parents have to be careful to avoid training "hearts toward greed and selfish interests and to working for rewards" only.  Mr. Tripp referred to a family that had their children put their names into a jar whenever they did something good.  "It taught them to earn parental approbation and therefore, a name in the jar.  They quickly learned what would get their name in the jar and how to maximize the number of times for a minimum amount of effort.  They became manipulators of the system."  This is the wrong purpose to be doing good things.  "The God who knows our hearts calls us to right behavior for the purpose of honoring Him" (p. 64) not winning a game or gaining approbation.

Now, there are times when I have to remind my five year old that he can not receive the privledge of going on the computer before prayer and school work.  I do not see this as a bribe though, but rather prioritizing activities properly.  I do not have to tell my older children this because they've already learned to value honoring God as the number one priority.  My children are never given something for the task of cleaning their rooms.  This is part of proper hygiene that they are required to be responsible for...no matter what.  Periodically, their rooms can get too messy though.  I've told them that they are unable to invite friends over if their rooms are messy or even tell them thay can not watch t.v. until their room is clean.  Is this a bribe or making a deal?  A bribe is something that serves to induce or influence...so maybe it is.  Nevertheless, I tie in the fact that cleanliness is close to Godliness in which we always "look out for the interest of others." (p. 63)  Brothers and sisters who share their rooms need to be respected too and any friends that come in their rooms need to feel welcome, safe, and comfortable.  I think about biblical principles of caring for others so that this attitude will penetrate their hearts:  the Good Samaritan, the Prodigal Son, the Poor Widow, Joseph during the famine in Egypt, Ruth, David and Goliath, the Passion of Christ, etc.  It is a good idea to have a Concordance which can help parents locate biblical passages that apply to their child's current situation.

In a nut shell, we can not let the "human mind be used as the standard." (p. 61)  God sets the standard for all of us and is the author of life.  He tells us what is good and bad and gives us the proper perception to have in all our daily affairs.  Oprah may be entertaining, but she does not set the standard.  Our children need this proper perception along with everything and anything they become involved in.  Reading the bible can be an objective by directing our hearts and efforts toward Jesus; and it can also be a method employed to live a virtuous life and avoid vice.  Acts of learning and instruction are always considered beneficial when they assist us in building up the Kingdom of God.  After public schools left religion out of their programs, their effectiveness to instill virtuous characters and proper patriotism in their students declined.  Parents have the authority and power from God to deal biblically and faithfully with the heart rather than being tied down in only instances of behavior.  I highly recommend "Shepherding a Child's Heart" to any parent interested in affirming and/or improving their parenting skills.

Although it is good to analyze the goals we set for our children and ensure compliance to biblical principles, married Christians also attain a special grace in virtue of the sacrament of marriage.  Weather your Catholic or not, these words elevate Christian Marriage to its reality of Christ being present in the union of man and woman.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church states the graces of the sacrament of Matrimony in paragraphs 1641 and 1642.

1641  "By reason of their state in life and of their order, (Christian spouses) have their own special gifts in the People of God."  This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony  is intended to perfect the couple's love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity.  By this grace they "help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children."

1642  Christ is the source of this grace.  "Just as of old God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Savior, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of Matrimony."  Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, to "be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ," and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love.  In the joys of their love and family life he gives them here on earth a fortaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb:

How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by the Church, strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels, and ratified by the Father?...How wonderful the bond between two believers, now one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in the same service!  They are both children of one Father and servants of the same Master, undivided in spirit and flesh, truly two in one flesh.  Where the flesh is one, one also is the spirit.

These words can not be denied as the greatest commandment is to love God with all our hearts, minds, and souls and to love our neighbor as ourselves.  The ultimate reality for us is our relationship with God and eachother.  The relationship of a Christian husband and wife, undeniably, receives special graces in order for them to love God and fulfill their state and order in life which includes educating their children.

Shepherding a Child's Heart

Today I'm going to link up with Amanda Pelser's book club discussion on Sheperding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp.  We are currently discussing Chapter 4:  You're in Charge and Chapter 5:  Examining Your Goals.  This is all beneficial instruction for parenting.

In chapter 4 we discover that parents are to act on behalf of God as His agents.  An agent is one who acts for or in the place of another by authority from Him.  This is one of our most important aspects to functioning effectively as parents.  If we act on behalf of God, we must pass the Faith on to our children ("Genesis 18:19, Deuteronomy 6, Ephesians 6:4" p. 30).  "God has an objective" (p. 30) which is something toward which effort is directed.  "God accomplishes this objective through the agency of parental instruction." (p. 30)  Parents are the first and most important educators for their children...not the government and not even the Church.  Although we can rely on the Church to assist us in this process because they have the same objective for families as God.  Unfortunately, the government's objectives often work towards secularism or any re-indoctrination to passed failed philosophies.  We can not rely on them to pass the Faith on to our children.  We have a better chance for faith-driven principles to be adheared to in our society when politicians honor the Constitution and Declaration of Independence though.  Unfortunately, there are some in power that want to stop honoring these time honored documents that have helped pave a path to prosperity.  Parenting can be a real challenge in a culture like ours.  In a nut shell, parenting is more than "being an adult care provider.  This is light years away from directing your child in the ways of God." (p. 34)

"There are objectives that direct our choices as we raise our children." (p.42)  We just have to remember that the primary objective is for our children to know that "man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever." (p. 47)  In other words we need to know, love, and serve the Lord as our main purpose in life.  Our children will know, love, and serve the Lord by teaching them how to embrace and desire scriptural objectives, by loving the Church he founded and participating in the sacraments, and by loving and serving our neighbors as Christ shows us in his own life on earth.

There are many worthy objectives that help our children find success, but they are secondary to knowing, loving, and serving God.  Some of these objectives are listed in Chapter 5:  "Developing Special Skills, Phsychological Adjustment, Saved Children, Family Worship, Well-Behaved Children, Good Education, and Control."  One item that really caught my eye can be attributed to leaders who deceive the righteous and poor people in our country was included in well behaved children.  Tedd Tripp says that "When being well-mannered is severed from biblical roots in servanthood, manners becomes a classy tool of manipulation.  Your children learn how to work others in a subtle but profoundly self-serving way.  Some children become crass manipulators of others and disdainful of people with less polish." (p. 46)  This is a sad state of affairs because the naive are attracted to these people with poise and no sense.  This is why so many Americans vote for the wrong candidates for president.

We are in a spiritual war and need to equip our children with the truth by shepherding their hearts.  Christians have been persecuted since the beginning of time and we need to continue to pray and teach our children that the most important purpose of their lives is to know, love, and serve the Lord. This can attract the lost to come to righteousness in the Lord.  Everything else is secondary but can be utilized after our children ask themselves "WWJD" (What would Jesus do?) in the situations they encounter in life.  Knowing, loving, and serving the Lord is first and foremost in our lives.

Shepherding a Child's Heart

It is time once again to discuss Chapters 2 and 3 in Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp.  I am sorry I am so late getting to this but am battling some health problems at the same time.  Chapter 2 was titled - Your Child's Development:  Shaping Influences and Chapter 3 was titled - Your Child's Development:  Godward Orientation.  While both chapters were very informative, it was much easier for me to relate to chapter 3 because (I think) Godward Orientation should be the priority and the shaping influences flow from this.  In fact, one of my favorite quotes is: 

"As a college student, I received my first exposure to sailing.  I recall my amazement to learn that the direction of the craft is not determined by the direction of the breeze, but by the trim of the sail.  In a sense, Godward Orientation is like the set of the sail in a child's life.  Whatever the shaping influences of life, it is the child's Godward Orientation that determines his response to those shaping influences."

As you can see here, if the sail isn't trimmed properly (if the child does not have the love and knowledge of Christ in his/her heart)...the breeze ("selfishness and rebellion against authority" p.24) will carry him or her down the path of "trying to make sense out of life without God." (p. 24)  This quite often leads to "the idolatry of rebellion against God's authority and his/her determination to be one's own authority" (p.24) which can lead to vice.  Good Moms know their child is not born perfect and needs to be nurtured and guided toward truth.  It is a journey, a direction, that needs to start off on the right foot from the earliest years.  These early years trim the sail to set a course for your child to continue a smooth journey their entire life and enhance their own choices to bring him or her to a glorious redemption and salvation in Jesus Christ.

The shaping influences discussed in chapter 2 would be very interesting to write out one's own 'lists' for these items:

1) Structure of Family Life
2) Family Values
3) Family Roles
4) Family Response to Failure
5) Family History
6) Family Conflict Resolution.

While these items are very important, the priority still remains 'God Orientation.'  Nevertheless, chapter 2 caused me to ask various questions that may be interesting to think about.  For example,

Tedd Tripp describes shaping influences as:  "those events and circumstances in a child's developmental years that prove to be catalysts for making him the person he is."  I'm just curious why shepherding to achieve a 'God Orientation' isn't included in 'shaping influences?'  Is reading the bible an event or circumstance in one's daily affairs that instills in one's heart a wise and better response to the environment around them?  This response points to his character or 'person he is.' Or is 'Godward Orientation' listed separately, outside of shaping influences, for some specific reason?  Is this because 'Godward Orientation' is the only influence that initiates or triggers a response from the heart while the other shaping influencers just influence without having an affect on one's heart?  He does explain that children are 'active responders' of shaping.  This means all shaping, right?  What part of our faith shapes?  Just something to think about.  While I don't know why my brain does this quite often, I will refrain from putting all the questions from chapter 2 I have here to eliminate confusion.  Both chapters have been very informative and I am really enjoying Tedd Tripp's wisdom.  I would highly recommend reading his book if your a parent!

Shepherding a Child's Heart

Welcome to the Miller Household and the kickoff of our book discussion of Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp hosted by Amanda Pelser.  Grab a cup of tea and meet some wonderful parents trying to lead their children to truth and be inspired by an awesome author Tedd Tripp.  You can join in the discussion by going to Amanda's directions at http://thepelsers.com/2012/03/26/shepherding-childs-heart-book-club-kickoff/.

My husband and I have been married 25 years now and have really been able to witness to the fruits of homeschooling our children during their elementary and middle school years.  Upon reaching ninth grade, three of them (so far) have been able to attend wonderful private high schools where faith is still central.  If I could give my homeschool a name, it would be:  A PLACE FOR ME.  This is because we've decided that the education of our children will always have a place for JESUS.  When we go out into society, we can encounter some who are constantly trying to rid our country from the love of Christ.  Our homes and schools have all been environments where we can make Christ the nucleus (powerhouse) of all our efforts. 

My two oldest sons. Colin (21) and Brandyn (20), attend the University of Maryland and are very active in the Catholic Student Center there with a wonderful priest.  My oldest daughter, Kristen (15), attends a devout private high school where the Theology department and advisory programs are tremendously transparent and service-oriented which gives parents real confidence in all their efforts.  My two youngest, Claire (12) and Patrick (5), are still currently homeschooled.

I'm looking forward to discovering more of what this book will teach us and getting to know all the participants.  It is a joy to share our Christian lives with eachother!  The first posts will be Monday, April 2.  Happy reading!

"Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp is an excellent book that gives parents direction in applying biblical principles to raising their children. I am honored to be invited to submit a guest post for Chapter 1. Please go to this link to view my analysis.

Eileen,

The link for your guest post is:

http://thepelsers.com/2012/04/02/shepherding-childs-heart-intro-chapter-1/

Thank you!

How to Have a H.E.A.R.T.

It's time to talk about Chapter 5 in How to Have a H.E.A.R.T. for your Kids by Rachael Carman.  If you would like to join in the conversation just click on this link to visit Amanda Pelser's blog.  Chapter 5 was titled "Teach Them the Truth."  (Sorry So Late in posting but I was having some technical difficulty).

This chapter begins by pointing out all the lies that have taken root in our culture.  As I sit here, one of my college sons will be attending Lobby Night in our state to talk to legislators about preserving religious freedom and traditional marriage between one man and one woman.  The lies are now confrontational where we need to "speak out publicly to resist their further advancement" or be forced to violate our beliefs.  When we teach our kids the truth of God's Word, they become skilled at defending these unjust assaults to our most important freedoms and virtuous traditions.  They do not fall prey to accepting the "relative truth" that is so permissive in our world.  Truth is not relative and does not change from one day to the next according to the way the one in power feels.  With the onslaught of lies engulfing our culture, our children need to know that "followers of Jesus Christ have what the world needs:  timeless, unchanging, dependable, and knowable truth."  We can no longer just enjoy our freedoms but are returning to times when we have to fight for them.  The divine power of God provides us with a life-giving Church which always points above and beyond herself with a call to holiness through our knowledge of Jesus Christ.  These are the means necessary for godliness and life our children need to put first in their lives.

Rachael refers to many virtuous characters referenced in the Bible whose "knowledge probably affected their actions."  As homeschoolers, we can 'pass the baton' to our children every day about many who have displayed "godly examples of faithful living."  I utilize some great Saint books from Loyola Press:  Saints and Feast Days - A Resource and Activity Book and The Loyola Treasury of Saints - From the time of Jesus to the present day.  America's Founding Fathers are also good examples of virtue.  We also use Finding God, Following Jesus by Loyola Press where we actually compare and discuss religious articles and bible verses, developments in the Church, and various Saints and missionaries.  My daughter is presently attending a Confirmation class at a local parish.

I was so happy to hear Rachael say she sings hymns with her children.  I remember when my two oldest were younger, I would serenade Church hymns to them while they ate their lunch.  I also taught and designed a dance and movement class with various religious songs and simple sign language.  It was great fun.  Rachael also stresses the need for family worship time.  Every Sunday after Mass, we all came together for family prayer.  It was my favorite time of the week.  We still do this and hope my children will carry on this tradition in their own families.

I really enjoyed Rachael's book and it warms my heart to know that others put God's Word as a top priority into their lives!  Homeschoolers have alot of responsibilities and it has been a pleasure to take a break from teaching to feed myself with wisdom from other virtuous Christians by participating in this great book discussion.  Thank you!

How to Have a H.E.A.R.T.

Chapter 4 in Rachael Carmen's book titled "How to Have a H.E.A.R.T. for Your Kids" is called Release Them to God.  I have to tell you that I really enjoyed this chapter.  If you would like to participate discussing this wonderful book, just click on the link to go to Amanda Pelser's blog.

This chapter discusses the fact that our children are not ours...they are Gods.  I've never thought this concept to be terrifying.  In fact, I am so so grateful that my children belong to God because they are all so perfect and beautiful.  I am undeserving of owning something so precious.  When we give our children back to God, there is a constant internal driving force in parents to present Him with the most beautiful gift...the perfect souls of our own children.  Our parental responsibilities are enhanced by the wings of grace to be constantly directed toward the goodness of the Lord.  We become totally immersed in God's love for us and have the greatest desire to please and honor Him with children who are aware that their purpose in life is to know, love, and serve Him.

When we present our children with the truth of God's Word and the nurturing community of the Church Christ founded, our desires don't only strive for happiness for our children...but also take into account all the beautiful gifts the Holy Spirit bestows on those who love the Lord.  All the virtues come into play with joy for the Lord being one of the blessings bestowed at an early age.  As our children grow, God puts each virtue to be practiced at the proper time into the dynamics of family life.  The Holy Spirit sends graces needed for the wisdom to discuss and/or portray beneficial developments for strong characters in the midst of praying, helping eachother, studying, and completing daily tasks and assignments.  Eventually, even warnings about vices and sinful traits are presented as things to fight, avoid, and/or conquer.  The entire family "rids itself of selfish dreams and attempts to" desire God's power and authority under the obedience of his loving discipline and open to His mercy and generosity.

My children are too precious for me to keep them to myself or to only be obedient to my own dreams for them.  It is good that we train and discipline them while they are young so that they grow in academic and spiritual maturity to go out into the world and evangelize.  Letting go of my children expanded my dreams for them because they were set free into a respected Christian community that reflected the same principles and values instilled in them during their homeschooling years.  It was a perfect match for them.  The hard part for me was trusting peers and strangers I had never met. 

I trusted my kids and I trusted God but I tend to unnecessarily worry that some individual might try to hurt or take advantage of my children because I have PTSD.  In the entire five years my oldest sons attended their Catholic high school, there were only two incidents that inflamed my illness.  One time, a fellow student disclosed that he was bisexual to my son.  It bothered me that he was revealing this information.  I'm glad my son told me about it.  I was able to warn him that he may be looking for a friend that is too close for comfort.  He knew the right thing to do and steered clear of danger.  My other son and a friend were cornered walking home from school one day.  The strangers were going to jump them and take their wallets.  The friend got away and threatened the strangers with a call to the police on his cell.  They panicked and ran away.  The Lord was with them that day too.  The rest of the time at this wonderful school helped propell them into manhood and blessed them with wholesome academics and awesome friends.  In fact, we were on cloud nine when my oldest was the Salutatorian.  Homeschooling all those years (up until ninth grade) were very good for them.

Rachael spoke of the Bible story of Hannah and Samuel when she took seriously her promise to fulfill her vow with God by presenting him to Eli to be raised for the Lord.  It was never about Hannah.  As a mother, I've had to remind myself that 'it isn't about me.'  While I was busy with three younger children at home, my husband was the one involved with most of my older sons activities and schedules.  It is almost as if we were going in separate directions.  We were sacrificing for them though.  I had to understand that I would have less interaction and conversations with my older sons and less involvement in community and outside activities because the school was an hour away.  This was difficult to accept but in the end...was well worth any bit of pain I endured.  My older sons have showed me that faith and family were still priorities in their busier lives.  It just took time to fully be revealed to me.  I had to trust my husband who took my older sons under his wings now.

One of my favorite quotes in this chapter is, "These parents valued Christ-like character over mere head knowledge, recognizing that high standardized scores without character and integrity are largely worthless."  This is so important.  In the early years, we were blessed with the time and opportunity to get into many deep discussions about life with our children.  As they grow, our children were discussing life less and finances and schedules more while my husband and I became first hand witnesses to their strong Christian virtues.  We couldn't have been more pleased.  So you want to be observant of what your older children show you, especially in the friends they choose and if they still ask permission while they are living under your roof.  Do they still join you for family prayer when they are home and do they continue to honor the sabbath?  Therefore, be aware of changes in discussions and developments in witnessing righteous actions.

Rachael gives good advice when she says, "you have entered an intense battle zone -- the front lines you might say" when your kids are released to the world.  If your children have the Lord at the center of their lives, they'll be able to withstand an attack from the enemy.  My sons experienced a difficult situation where they were accused of something that they had no part in.  Just like the Lord, they were silent in their persecution but were unable to argue there innocense because of the power of their accusers.  It was the hardest thing I've ever experienced.  Nevertheless, the following year proof of their innocense was revealed and they were rightly compensated.  It is a crazy world and there are many that target virtuous Christians, mainly out of jealousy.  So beware.

In all things, keep that eternal perspective and the Lord will continue to bless your efforts.

How to have a H.E.A.R.T.

I wanted to share my thoughts on Chapter 3 in Rachael Carman's book titled "How to Have a H.E.A.R.T. For Your Kids.  Many mothers are participating in this book discussion at Amanda Pelser's blog.  It is wonderful to hear how other moms experience family life from using Rachael's book as a model... so to speak...for assistance and instruction.

One statement made in this chapter pointed out that many in our society "value career and stuff more than their kids."  In large part, I hold the public school system responsible for this pervasive mentality because young children spend too much time there when they would benefit more from time with parents.  For example, my public school years did not teach me anything about putting God and family first before friends and fun.  My elementary years did because I went to a Catholic school.  Once I reached the middle school years, I switched to public school.  There was no class that influenced me to feel special as a mother and prepare me for raising and managing a family.  Everything focused on academics and getting a good job.  Therefore, I went through a very difficult transition into motherhood.  I had to rid myself of the poisonous mentality of valuing my career too much.  It wasn't until I had little ones and began to teach them about God's Word and the richness of our faith that led me to put my priorities in their proper order.  No wonder it is so hard for women.  We need to manage and take care of our families as the priority and then fall back on a career.  Not the other way around.  Of course - unless we are single... only to a certain extent.

It is interesting to note that Rachael points out that our children can be the answer to our prayers.  This is very significant because it places us, as active participants, in the position of bringing justice (good things) to our world.  We may not immediately see this because the cause (of our mothering) and effect (of promoting justice) are distantly related by time.  Should we really work 40 hours a week putting our mothering, which causes a higher probability for justice to flourish, as a second priority?  It is so good to know that, as mothers, we are vitally important to society even though we do not get paid, receive alot of praise, eat out at restaurants, are motivated by daily interaction with peers, etc...  We do not get many perks but our work is probably just as important as the president of the united states (even more so than this present one!).  When we put this into proper perspective, we are doing the work of the Lord!  We see love and sacrifice when we look at our Lord on the Cross.  We see it also when we look at a devoted homeschool mom (or dad).  The world tells us not to see or acknowledge this beautiful reality.  Sorry - I say don't listen to them.  Mothers need to know how vitally important they are and we need to remind eachother of this to encourage eachother and lift one another up.  It is not always an easy road to travel and we can lean on eachother for support.

Also, God's timing isn't our timing.  Therefore, if we have been longing or waiting for something to help us on our journey, it is good to know that "God has sent little miracles to do His bidding, and always just in time."  This knowledge can assist us with the virtue of perseverance because there is always hope when we continuously pursue the Lord.  We must never give up and even go to our death singing the praises of the Lord!  Everything we have and do comes from the Good Lord.  Our relationship with the Lord is real and our love for Him can not be destroyed.

Rachael points out that many people in the bible have started out as small, humble, poor, persecuted, or suffering individuals and, by the grace of God, they became a significant influence, model, and/or leader in our world.  All of them were blessed with a mother's acceptance of them.  Thus, the A in H.E.A.R.T. for acceptance.  It is important for us to know that our children come from God and they are on a journey back to God.  They belong to God, not us.  Therefore, we are constantly open to the Lord's graces which help us accept the God-given gifts of our children.  Never trying to rewire them for selfish reasons but always giving back to the Lord.  We need to make the ultimate destiny of our children eternal life with the All Loving Father.  Everything else will fall into place.

The homeschooling journey also permits us to 'look in the mirror' and change anything about ourselves when we direct our children in the ways of the Lord.  Nobody is perfect and I've learned right along beside my children.  I have to say, it is all well worth the effort.  The Lord helps us 'drive out foolishness' whenever it surfaces because we have chosen to be present in the center of family life.  Christians have been persecuted since the beginning of time.  As Americans, we know how central the Faith is to our way of life.  There are others who do not want the American way of life to succeed and will try, at every turn, to destroy it.  Our children need to become warriors for the Lord.  Our country needs it!